Suicidal Love
by tabAFER
Summary: Mirage wished she'd spoken sooner. Maybe it wouldn't have happened this way. Matt/OC fic. my first ever UPLOADED story ONE/SHOT


**Oh gosh! I'm so nervous. This is my first EVER uploaded story. I have at least 15 written/started, but this is the one i've choosen to make my debut with.  
It all started out as a dream, and turned into this!  
It's only a ONE/SHOT but i'm proud of it.  
I'd shown the shorter version my dear friends; Yenisha, Kaila, Emma, Kaleishia, Melissa and Simone, and they all loved it.  
I had help naming it. Simone, Melissa & I brainstormed, until we came up with Love Note, Suicidal Love & Mirage. Melissa's won the votes!  
So enjoy, and please review. It'd mean the world to me, just to know ur reactions. *insert smiley face here***

* * *

Mirage sat on the couch, beside her best friend and crush, Matt Hardy.

"Can I tell you something?" Matt asked, looking towards Mirage instead of the tv.

"Go ahead," Mirage nodded, also looking away from the 'Batman Begins' movie.

"I'm asking Ashley to marry me." Matt said happily.

Mirage was crushed.

* * *

Tears flowed down her face as she lay on her bed. Life wasn't fair. It never had been to Mirage, especially when it came to Matt. She was 9 when she met the 11 year old Matthew Moore Hardy. She'd moved in across the road from Gregory Shane Helms, and met Matt during a play date. Since then, the pair had been inseperable. It had been at Matt's 15th birthday party, that Mirage realised, she had a crush on Matt! On his 20th birthday, still having not told him about her crush, she realised another thing. She was in **love** with Matt.

"You coming?" Matt asked, sticking his head inside her bedroom door. They were all going down to Raleigh for the engagement party.

"What's the matter?" Matt asked, seeing the tear tracks on her flawless face.

"I'll meet ya there Mattie. I watched Lion King again, silly me." Mirage lied perfectly.

"You sure? I can wait for ya." Matt offered. He too had a secret. He may be getting married to Ashley in 3 short months, but he wasn't **in love** with her. He was **in love** with Mirage. He'd never had the courage to tell her, and now it was too late.

"I'll see ya soon," Mirage smiled, walking past Matt to the bathroom.

* * *

"What did I do wrong?" Mirage asked herself as she sat alone at Matt and Ashley's engagement party. Jeff had gone off to dance with Dyarne and Shannon had gone to dance with Lee. Shane and Jamie were at the bar getting some drinks.

"Mirra!" Matt called as he and Ashley walked towards the girl. She looked up at them, smiling falsely.

"Mirra, can we ask you something?" Matt asked happily. I looked down at Ashley's hand, where her 6 carat diamond engagement ring shone, teasing her, mocking her.

"Sure." Mirage was one hell of an actress.

"Will you be my maid of honor? It'd mean the world to Matt and I." Ashley asked, clinging tightly to Matt's arm.

"He should've been mine. This should've been my day." Mirage thought.

"No! I hate you! Why should I? I love Matt more!!" That was what she **wished** she'd said instead, "Of course! I'm honored!" Was what she squealed, jumping to her feet and wrapping the soon-to-be married couple in a hug.

* * *

**DOOMS DAY **a.k.a **WEDDING DAY**

_**Mirage POV**_

I was one hell of an actress. The entire wedding morning, I plastered a fake bubbly attitude and smile on my face and kept it on, as I helped Maria, Nikki and Barbara get _Ashley _ready for what was supposed to be **my** big day.

Waiting, oh so close to Matt as Ashley walked down the aisle, tore another piece of my heart to shreds. I literally felt the knives plunging through my chest. People clapped and cheered as the newlyweds kissed, I wanted to curl up and die. I saw Shannon and Lee staring at me from the corner of my eye, they both knew. They were the only ones other than Dyarne who knew about my love for Matthew.

* * *

After an entire day of acting, I retreated to my home, skipping the reception. I changed from my light purple strapless bridesmaid dress and into an AFL Collingwood, number 13 Dale Thomas, Jersey and black trackies. I put 'The Dark Knight' into my DVD player, and slipped my note to Matt on the inside of the cover. He'd know where to look.

I sat down with a six pack of Australian XXXX Gold and a freshly sharpened razor, and began to watch the movie. Matt and my movie. I numbed the pain with a beer, followed by two fresh cuts to my wrist. Another beer and three more cuts came next. Once i'd drunk four beers, blood flowed freely from the thirteen deep cuts on my wrists. I began to feel sleepy.

* * *

_**Matts POV**_

Shannon had only said to come to Mirage's home. That is was **urgent.** Ashley whined and complained that it was our wedding night, for me to stay and go tomorrow morning. But Mirage was my **best friend**. And my only **true love.**

"What happened?" I asked Shannon. An ambulance and two police cars were parked outside Mirra's double storey house in Raleigh, North Carolina.

"She's dead Matt. Mirra-bells gone." Shannon replied, all too calmly.

"What?" I gasped, praying this was some sick, cruel joke.

"Mirage is dead." he repeated, I only just noticed he was shaking.

"How?" I stuttered, three tears dripping down my right cheek.

"Ask them," Shannon replied softly. "They wanna talk to you anyway."

As I walked towards the police officers, I saw Shannon slump to his knees and break down.

"Suicide... 13 fresh cuts... Alcohol... Batman was on..."

I only heard snippets as my heart broke. The last part though, that broke through.

"Batman!?" I was shocked, we'd promised to never watch a single Batman movie without the other. It was our thing.

"Yeah, does that mean something?" The officer confirmed.

I ran inside, and to her living room. Her body had already been moved, but the blood stains and empty beer bottles still remained. I grabbed the 'Dark Knight' DVD case up off of the TV unit and opened it. Sure enough, an envelope signed with my name on it, fell out.

* * *

_**Dear Mattie, my big bear. **_

_**I'm sorry it had to be this way. I couldn't bear the alternative. On the inside, i've been dying. Not of cancer, or twitter withdrawal but of a bent, bashed, bruised, bleeding heart. **_

_**I loved you, Matthew Moore Hardy for years. Ever since we were kids. I always told myself it was a silly crush, it'd go away. It didn't. It grew and grew, until I could barely focus. I was going to tell you. But you began to date Amy. When that ended, I felt to bad for you to even mention it. By the time I though you were ready, you met Ashley. I'd wanted so bad to tell you. but you were happy again. I didn't want to stop that. **_

_**You & Ashley. Not you & me. That's what sealed my fate. If maybe, just maybe i'd spoken sooner, it wouldn't have happened this way. It might've been us married, but in Vegas. It might've been us, but it wasn't. Everything we once had, became seperated. Anything you did, Ash did too. What was once yours, was hers too. What was our tradition, turned into a couple and a third wheel. See that? Third wheel? That's me! ;D**_

_**It's right now. No... NOW! Our favourite movie, being viewed alone. The way it was going to be forever on. I was waiting for a time, a time to cut deeper, a time to drink harder, a time to finally let go. It just so happened to be tonight. **_

_**"Give me your heart, make it real. Or else forget about it," thats me.  
**_

_**I forever love you Matt, tell that to Skittles, Hurricane & Punkie too. Dyarne n Lee already know this. **_

_**Goodbye.**_

_**Love Little Bear... Mirage. **_

I couldn't believe it. She felt the same way.

* * *

**Thank you for taking the time to read this!  
I don't own 'Smooth' by Escape The Fate either. Even though i'm pretty sure they don't own the lyrics either!**

**please review...  
****Tabzz :: a.k.a DirtyRockDiva. **

**oh, listen to 'New Divide' by Linkin Park frm the Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Soundtrack!  
I was listening to it on repeat whilst re-writting this.  
Transformers = LOVE  
so does Legacy *drool* Core Group and E&C!!!**


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